I can breathe fine.


Because I know nothing lasts forever.

Memories sustain me. Things just keep getting worse and worse and the only way I can keep things going is by holding tightly onto the memories. But what will happen when memories fade away? I don't know.

Make the Sun shine on me
Wipe my tears away
Mend my heart
Promise me security
Help me see beautiful things
Protect me from the rain
Embrace me when I'm cold
Save me from myself
Don't let me dream bad dreams

Make me feel that I am not alone in this world

It'll never be wholesome.

10 things I cannot stand:

1. Arguments. I hate arguing. PEACE man. PEAAAAAAAACE.
2. Loud/obnoxious people. When someone talks with a loud voice all the time, it just tells me so much about their personality. I can never get along with those people.
3. People that cannot control themselves. I mean of course we all need to breathe and it's not bad to go crazy every once in a while but I have no respect for people that are not responsible.
4. Liars. I hate lies. Unless it is absolutely necessary.
5. People that act like they know me. Usually those people are the ones that don't know anything about me.
6. Meeting new people. Or being with people I'm not close to.
7. People that are full of self-pity. They are so good at making themselves sound like victims. It sickens me.
8. When I'm talking to someone, someone who I wish would care about what I have to say, and I know that that person is only pretending to be listening. I can usually tell when someone is not paying attention to what I'm saying or not caring much about it, and it really makes me angry.
9. People that care too much about other people's business.
10. Myself for actually being just like the people I cannot stand.


This is such a mean/bitter entry. But damn, I never want to have to face the stuff I had to face tonight. NEVER.

I want to..:

1. watch a good movie.
2. travel somewhere. Anywhere!
3. see the friends I haven't seen in more than 6 months. Like Min, SungEun, Steve J., etc.
4. eat hot cheetos with cream cheese. Oh believe me, it's so good.
5. drink good wine.
6. eat some jjambbong.
7. not be too lazy to practice.
8. finish reading Demian so I can finally move on to a new book.
9. go #2.
10. receive an Amazon.com gift card... With an endless amount!!!
11. do something to my hair. If I can ever figure out what in the world I can possibly do with this piece of crap.
12. manicure/pedicure. Wow that makes me sound so girly.
13. find some music that'll shock me. So I can get inspired and get myself to practice.
14. go get a new piercing.
15. find someone I can go to the Wed/Thurs nights' jam sessions with.
16. take a trip to La Jolla. And this time I would definitely bring my passport so I can walk across the border to Mexico. Yum, tacos!
17. watch "We Got Married" and "My Sweet City" endlessly (they're the only Korean shows I watch. They're so good...).
18. wear flipflops to work.
19. have the motivation to go on a mad diet. Too bad I ate Krispy Kreme at like 10 tonight. hahaha I love me.
20. go back to school!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Deepest blue sea

It's beautiful

But
I'm afraid
And I'm lonely


And
I'm running out of breath

When fire becomes smoke,

"Now that I think about it, the things he did weren't even that bad. But because my heart was with someone else, even the smallest things he did got on my nerves," said an old friend of mine.

My heart is just about gone now. The warmth I used to have has retreated somewhere far away. Sometimes I even forget that warmth ever existed. I'm still able to cry, though. I'm completely alone, in the coldest, loneniest place in the world. When I cry, my husband kisses my cheecks, turning my tears to ice. He peels off those frozen tears and puts them on his tongue. You know I love you, he says. And I know it's true. The Ice Man does love me. But the wind blows his frozen words further and further into the past. And I cry some more, icy tears welling up ceaselessly in our frozen little home in the far off South Pole.

:The Ice Man by H.M

I can't stop asking myself, "Is this what I really want?"

It's not so easy loving me
It gets so complicated
All the things you've gotta be
Everything's changin
But you're the truth
I'm amazed by all your patience
Everything I put you through

When I'm about to fall
Somehow you're always waitin
with your open arms to catch me
You're gonna save me from myself
from myself, yes
You're gonna save me from myself

My love is tainted by your touch
Cuz some guys have shown me aces
But you've got that royal flush
I know it's crazy everyday
Well tomorrow may be shaky
But you never turn away

Don't ask me why I'm cryin
Cuz when I start to crumble
You know how to keep me smilin
You always save me from myself
from myself, myself
You're gonna save me from myself

I know it's hard, it's hard
But you've broken all my walls
You've been my strength, so strong

And don't ask me why I love you
It's obvious your tenderness
Is what I need to make me
a better woman to myself
to myself, myself
You're gonna save me from myself

Christina Aguilera - Save Me From Myself