To me, it doesn't mean anything. Going to a fun bar, having a cute guy buy me a drink, having everyone's attention on me, in a hot pair of shoes and a sexy top.. Those things are way too pointless to me.

For me, what is meaningful is having a friend or two over for some beers and video games. Having just one person that loves me unconditionally. Being in my hoodie and sweat pants. That's what real is to me.

Some might say, "Why would you want to live your life so unattractively?" But you know, what's the point of trying to look beautiful on the outside when your heart feels so insecure? What's the point of having all these guys' attention when the one you'll end up home with will leave you cold in your bed the next morning and never call you again? What's the point of letting yourself be surrounded by a lot of people when none of them will be there when you really need them?

Why don't we all try to find the security within ourselves instead of searching for it in such meaningless things?

The guilt of the one who hurt another never lasts longer or is greater than the pain of the one who has been hurt.



I did forget almost all of it.
But the wound is still painful. And I don't know when it won't be healed.


I do find myself crazy for not having lost hope after all that had happened.
But the fact that YOU think I'm crazy for still being hurt from what happened so long ago hurts me even more.

I hate you. I hate me.

The dark has already taken over the world. They called it the "night." Everyone must obey the dark and go to sleep as they anticipate a new day. Those who are not so obedient will be put to sleep by a Force stronger than anyone else in the world.


"Beware when the great God lets loose a thinker on this planet."

- Ralph Waldo Emerson

I hope the weather is nice there. And I hope you're happy.

So sorry that I'm such a coward. I should've tried my best to keep our promises.

I wish you bluebirds in the spring
To give your heart a song to sing
And then a kiss
But more than this
I wish you love

And in July a lemonade
To cool you in some leafy glade
I wish you health
And more than wealth
I wish you love

My breaking heart and I agree
That you and I could never be
So with my best
My very best
I set you free

I wish you shelter from the storm
A cozy fire to keep you warm
And most of all
When snowflakes fall
I wish you love




To you, from me
(Because there's nothing I can give you)



Congratulations :)

I don't know where it went wrong. Or was it ever right? We keep hurting each other, yet it's so hard to let go of this whole thing we share. If there's anything I can do to make it right, I'd do it. But there seems to be no hope. And that's why I'm going to sleep all alone tonight.